As a New York acting coach focusing on British acting technique, I want to help my actors do the best job they are capable of doing both during an audition and during performance. One of the great pitfalls for an actor is self-proclaimed shyness. One of my first jobs as a coach is to help my actors who claim to be shy - help them examine that thing they call shyness. So let's look a bit more carefully at that thing we call "shyness." Yes, these thoughts may irritate some. But before tossing them into Actors Limbo, take a look, think them over, then face the mirror. A good dollop of reality just might be a trustworthy way to avoid that pitfall of shyness that trips us along the yellow brick road to dreams-come-true.It's difficult not to ponder human vagaries when someone proclaims, "I'm shy. I want to act." It's like"I'm afraid of heights. I want to be an astronaut." "I'm afraid of water. I want to be an Olympic swimmer."The claim to debilitating shyness automatically rais es the question, "Then why go into such a soul-revealing profession as acting?" It just doesn't make sense. Acting is a public profession. It's an almost self-evident truth that anyone who wants to act must also want to be in the spotlight--at least on stage or on a film set. Is there anything in the universe that a genuinely shy person wants less than to be in the spotlight? Being exposed would be a nightmare.So we have a contradiction: I am shy and want to hide. I am shy and want to be in the spotlight. No, we don't expect a foolish consistency in people. (I borrow from Emerson's "foolish consistency.") But before wasting money and years and heart-aching disappointment trying to be a performer, the "shy" actor must look carefully at his claim to shyness.Who is "shy"? Almost everyone has a thread or two of "shyness." Almost everyone is a tad shy, a tad insecure, a tad awkward in the privacy of our souls. It is almost a universal human quality. Take a bit of comfort in knowi ng you are not alone. It is not a condition restricted to just you.Since shyness to some degree is almost universal, then it follows that most actors are a bit shy. But their"shyness" must not invade their performing world. They must not confuse "shyness" with stage fright or lack of confidence or whatever other traits sit under the umbrella of "shyness." Before I forget, let's toss out the word "vulnerable." I am truly bored with vulnerability being used as a kissing cousin of shyness. Unless someone has developed permanent alligator skin, most of us-especially we actor-types--are vulnerable. PS: One of the great contradictions about actors is that we must develop the skin of an alligator while retaining the soul of an angel!Yes, the quotation marks around "shyness" in the paragraph above are deliberate--visual symbols to protest that the word is epidemically misused. In fact, in addition to claiming varying degrees of "shyness," actors also mislabel as "shyness" a backpack full of other career-damaging attitudes. But why would an actor claim shyness? Unless...WHAT IF IT'S NOT SHYNESS? THEN WHAT IS IT?"Shyness" can act as a protective shield which allows us not to face--and thus prevents the pain of solving--the real problems that we have mistakenly defined as "shyness." So maybe shyness is an escape from something else? What other possibilities hide behind our claim of "shyness"?Maybe we act or perhaps even feel "shy" because we think that's a way to avoid being challenged/ attacked/criticized/laughed at. Maybe a casting director will sympathize and cast us in spite of the shyness? Hint: That's probably not going to happen. To allow "shyness" to interfere with an audition or a performance--well that's civil war fought on the battleground of your own performing soul.More: Is there the slightest chance--the very whisper of a possibility--that shyness is a clever (albeit self-defeating) way to grab the spotlight? That shyness is the flip side of "Look at me"? That shyness in a would-be actor is a way to avoid the work and commitment which this profession demands? That shyness is a brilliant way to manipulate?Manipulate? Yes indeed. I think it was Oscar Wilde who coined the phrase, "the tyranny of the weak." Shyness can be a form of tyranny since it forces everyone else to try to open you up, or make you feel comfortable, or take special care not to hurt your feelings. It's a subtle way to get attention without seeming to. See how clever we are at dodging those arrows of outrageous fortune which Hamlet so eloquently recognizes! Clever, yes, but self-defeating."But I really am shy. I am not a tyrant!" Nope, I just don't believe it.Also consider the possibility that shyness which says, "I can't, woe and alas" may be the flip side of "I won't. Just try and make me. So there!" In other words, maybe shyness is a form of willfulness. What would happen if the shy person came clean and admitted "I'm manipulative, controllin g, willful"? Ouch. But the recognition of the correct word might just--just might--free the person to be the actor he says he wants to be. Getting to know oneself is a good start on the road to being an actor, not just someone who says memorized words.HOW CAN I QUIT BEING "SHY"?Remember the mockery First Lady Nancy Reagan took for her slogan "Just say NO" to drugs? Mocking slogans has become a national duty, but it's hard to reject the fact that saying no is the way to quit drugs. And telling someone to leave the "shyness" outside the audition/performing door is in the same category: dead-center solid advice.As we have mentioned, one way to quit being "shy" is to discover a more accurate term for the behavior. Stage fright maybe. Maybe self-centeredness. Or anger squashed down so hard that it disguises itself as "shyness." Or maybe arrogance masking as shyness because arrogance isn't considered "nice." Or shyness may provide an escape from responsibility. It may be a way to evoke pity instead of criticism. Finding the correct term for our behavior is another way to stop that behavior.Accurate terminology is essential. Call it what it is; find the right word. Give your feelings the accurate term and you are half-way to being cured. Language is precious. Use of accurate language would cure many world problems. Do not contribute to language clutter by saying you are "shy" when it just isn't so.Another way to get off the "shy" treadmill is to find what caused it. Maybe there were parents who criticized too often. Or a religion that kept the reins very tight. If the shyness is genuine, and not merely the acceptable cover for something else, then each case has its own cause. Discovering that cause is beyond the boundary of our exploration. How to get over it and what caused it are not the same topic. For now, we are looking at what it is and how to cure it. You, yourself, can probably go back in memory and discover many causes, many experiences, that collectively, created your shyness.Yet another way to stop shyness is to recognize its damage. Shyness allows us to wrap ourselves in gauze so that we cannot let loose our creative energies. The claim to shyness allows us to shove intuition and imagination into a dark cave, while "shyness" guards its entrance. The claim of shyness enables us to be a waiter who acts, not an actor who waits on tables.Here's a suggested early morning, look-in-the-mirror-while-washing-your-face sentence to say to yourself: "I am ____." But fill in the blank with the truth, not with a thing mistakenly called "shyness."Besides calling it by its right name, another cure for "shyness" is to want something else more than you want the shyness. Let that something else be an obsessive drive to perform. This is the one I personally subscribe to.One curious way to face "shyness" is to get so angry that the anger propels you past the safety of shyness. An actor friend (let's call her "Jane") speaks of the countless times she stepped on stage ready to spit hot nails. Anger is a remarkable source of energy. It certainly hurtles you past the concentration on self that lies at the core of "shyness." My actress friend Jane said the best performance she ever gave she owed to a cast member who, every night, insisted on drinking a bottle of perfume in the shared dressing room. The odor affected both Jane's speaking and singing voice. It was a great role, full of Irish rage and fury and a scene alone, center stage, singing a solo. She had asked and asked the actress not to wear perfume in the dressing area. Then asked the stage manager, then the Equity rep, finally threw a tizzy just before walking on stage. That pre-entrance tizzy birthed one of the few performances that actually pleased my friend. Great performance. Anger can be a tsunami, drowning everything in its path! Including shyness.Another cure for "shyness" depends on acknowledging an unpleasant truth. If you have a genuin e gift, then being shy and not sharing that gift is preventing the public from moments of happiness you could bring them. Let's call that self-centeredness, not shyness.And last, the way to overcome whatever the thing is you are calling "shyness" is to OVER PREPARE. OVER MEMORIZE. Oh no, not that old bromide again. Yes! Don't use shyness as an excuse not to demand perfection. Over preparation, stressing over memorization, is the only route to perfection-or as close to perfection as we actors can ever come.Battle that thing misnamed "shyness" both with the shining light of accurate language and with the joyous drive to act. Yearn to act. And then shed your shy skin and pursue auditions and roles with a single mindedness that propels you past "shy." Want to act and be seen more than you want to be shy and hidden. If 'shyness' is stronger than the drive to act, acknowledge that. Facing the truth about our feelings may be painful but it often heals.Proper terminology, a drive to perform, recognition of the nature of "shyness," anger, preparation--these are a few of the weapons against the invading armies that hide behind the shield of "shyness."
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